Feeling Small and Insignificant? 4 Simple Keys To Building Your Self-Esteem

Feeling Small and Insignificant blog audio version🎧

Do you feel seen and heard?

Do you ask yourself if you matter at work, at home, or in your relationships?

Do you believe that you make a difference?

Do you wonder whether you’re going to make it at what you’re doing?

These are all legitimate questions secretly asked all too often to ourselves.

You may be thinking to yourself, “If my life was to be made into a movie, it’s the one movie nobody will buy a ticket to go and watch”

Or it could be the exact opposite: “it’s great in comparison to everybody else’s only that it’s not enough for me”,

Or “it’s so bad that people will be horrified or depressed by it”.

The point is, regardless of what your life is like presently, you want it to count for something.

Here’s the thing;

Everyone Wants to Feel Significant

Every human being wants to feel significant.

It doesn’t matter what they do, or what their background is.

The point is, feelings of significance and self-esteem are core to our being.

We all strive to do something meaningful with our lives. We dream about it, we work towards it, and we do everything possible to achieve it.

So how does one go about trashing the state of feeling small and insignificant?

Let’s find out, shall we?

Key 1: It’s All About Being and Not Doing

It’s not a common experience we have of “everything we do is significant” on a day-to-day basis.

For the average individual, every day is pretty much ordinary.

Meaning, we just do the normal things that normal human beings do e.g.

• buying groceries

• going to the gym

• taking breakfast

• watching Netflix or its equivalent

• listening to the radio

• reading the newspaper

It’s just doing the ordinary things.

But we find ourselves yearning to be part of something greater and we wonder how to.

We think that we need to be part of a great cause like solving the world’s problem of poverty or finding the cure to cancer.

As far stretched as that may sound, it’s an indicator to show that we do long to step out of what looks like a small space into the arena of significance.

The big question here is:” Do I have to do something big to have feelings of significance and a high sense of self-esteem?”

Fortunately, no.

Self-esteem isn’t about doing but it’s about being.

Being content with who you are, what you have, and knowing that it’s enough to make the difference in your sphere of influence.

Don’t waste away the time you have or despise yourself because you don’t look like J-Lo or Ronaldo. Instead, be the person you truly are and in the being, you will find what you can do.

Take time to know yourself.

Find out what some of your strengths, shortcomings, abilities, and talents are. Then see what you can do with them.

The truth is, you haven’t been endowed with natural and spiritual gifts for nothing, you have them for a reason.

The bottom line is that you are significant whether you do something great or not.

Your Self-Esteem Doesn’t Decrease Because of Your Circumstances

Key 2: Appreciate Where You Are In Life

All of the people in the limelight have a back story. They just didn’t happen!

Many of them are writing books just to introduce the world to who they are behind the scenes.

When you observe the life of any great person in history e.g. Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Wangari Mathai, Nelson Mandela, they had a life before they became famous.

The reason they became famous wasn’t because of how glamorous their lives were but it’s because of something they truly believed in.

In their own eyes, they weren’t aware of the fact that one day they will be in the books of history or that people would talk about them long after their departure.

They weren’t working towards fame, they just were. They identified a need in their space and they acted towards it with what they had.

Not much of what they did in their private lives was out in the limelight but it was fundamental because it built the foundation that was strong enough to hold them in their moments of glory.

That being said, well, technically written down, everyone started from somewhere and that includes celebrities just in case you wondered (I just had to throw that in there).

Some had really and I mean really, shady starts. Some even had to do exceptionally humble things to rise.

Renowned people have backstories as everyone else does.

The mistake we often make is that we compare their story in the limelight with our story behind the scenes

The mistake we often make is that we compare their story in the limelight with our story behind the scenes.

When we do that, we minimize our experiences as being unworthy and we end up with feelings of low self-esteem.

The key is to appreciate where you are in life. The stage, the season, whatever you call it. It is significant and it’s a part of your journey.

Own it, be your best, and do your part.

Key 3: There’s Value In The Unseen

A little bit of this key has been shared in the previous key but I’ll elaborate it further here.

What we see in renowned people has to do with where they’re coming from. Their past experiences have laid the foundation upon which they now stand.

If their foundation was improper, they have a hard time in their moment of fame.

We’ve seen examples of celebrities that were crushed when everything was looking up for them.

At the same time, we’ve seen celebrities continue to flourish in their careers.

The difference? Their background or as I would put it, their unseen moments.

We may cry and even throw tantrums for not being recognized or for not being at the peak of our careers according to our timeline but do we stop to recognize the blessing of being in the unseen moments of our lives as a preparation for the glory to come?

The order to life is growth. Starting from where you are as you work your way up.

After all, if you think about it, humble beginnings aren’t that bad, actually it’s not bad at all.

You need it.

People at the top will tell you how grateful they are for the lessons they learned before their rise.

All of this may sound like grandmother’s or the principal’s pep talk but it’s true.

What you have may be small and appear small in the eyes of others but that doesn’t mean you’re insignificant.

Don’t tie your self-esteem to positions in life. Your worth is not increased by accomplishments, your worth is your worth, period!

Don’t tie your self-esteem to positions in life. Your worth is not increased by accomplishments, your worth is your worth, period!

Here’s what you’ll hardly hear: If you have feelings of low self-esteem in your humble beginnings, I guarantee that you’ll have feelings of low self-esteem even in your prime time.

The key is to appreciate who you are where you are.

Significance Has Nothing To Do With Position

Key 4: Life In The Limelight Is Not Everything

Life’s just ironic.

• Ever heard that married couples want to be single and single people want to be married?

• Working-class people want to become entrepreneurs and unemployed people want jobs?

• Dark-skinned people want to be of a lighter complexion and white people want to have a tan?

You’re getting where I’m going with this, right?

Human beings are hardly content with what they have and where they are in life.

Once we have what we aspired for, we want something else thinking it will make us feel better.

Don’t think that your self-esteem or feelings of significance will be elevated by accomplishment or recognition.

It won’t be long before you want something different to make you feel significant.

Similarly, life in the limelight isn’t “the life” or “living the life”. Yeah, you may be the envy of others and enjoy it for a while but with time, you crave for more.

I often wonder how someone like Denzel Washington goes to a public place without having someone if not people pull out their phones and take a sneaky pic of him, or rush towards him and ask for a selfie or get his autograph, or try to get him to do a favour for them?

One thing I could guess is that he would want to walk into a place with no questions asked or photos taken.

As you may already know, there’s a price to being in the limelight and if you aspire to be in it, then prepare yourself for it.

The point is, not all that glitters, is gold.

Still Feeling Small and Insignificant? Your Self-Esteem Is Intrinsic

A lot has been said around self-esteem, significance, and identity that are more than helpful.

Feel free to visit this site for more on building your self-esteem https://www.pickthebrain.com/the-7-best-blogs-on-self-worth/

In no way is this blog trying to add or re-emphasize what’s already been said.

The goal is to help you know the truth enough to separate it from all the lies out there regarding your self-esteem.

The truth is that you matter.

It doesn’t matter whether it’s an individual who you deem as significant in your life appreciates you, because whether they see it or not, you are worthy, and you are significant.

Always remember, that your self-esteem has nothing to do with your position in life, but everything to do with you because you have intrinsic value.

You have something to offer.

So what, if your life isn’t great or you’re broken? That doesn’t change the intrinsic value in you.

You are worth it and that settles it.

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