Seek and Speak Your Truth

I borrowed this title from Sheryl Sandberg’s book “Lean In” which had a paragraph that resonated with a rhythm in my heart.

In that chapter she shares the importance of being honest with what and how we feel about things and the importance of talking the truth about certain matters.

By failing to be clear with our communication we aren't helping. Being afraid of speaking up about an issue that might very well turnaround a situation is far worse than not talking about it at all.

Some of you may disagree with this and I understand your reservations but there's a certain joy and freedom we compromise for ourselves and others when we fail to speak our own truth.

The Hard Truth

I was inspired to write this blog because it came at a time in my life where there was no enthusiasm in just about everything.

I was pretty much functioning on autopilot. Whether it was in my work engagement, in my relationships, the relationship with myself and God, it was all flat and a drudgery.

I tried to find out what the cause was but I often didn’t get the answer. I couldn’t help but feel dissatisfied, empty and at times dejected. I knew I couldn’t truly rest on the inside until I knew what I needed to change on the inside.

The Aha Moment

My lights didn’t go on until in desperation I asked God one morning “What's going on?” I took a deep look within and realised I had been trying to live a life that didn’t fully express who I was.

I thought that by being sacrificial, postponing gratification of certain desires, and being this individual who always did what was expected of them, I was living the right kind of life.

There was nothing wrong with any of the things I did but the problem was that I always had to be the one to forego my own happiness. I had given up too much to the point I was even embarrassed of saying what was in my heart for fear of being seen as selfish and for fear of conceding a future that I had worked so hard to build (which hadn’t even taken shape!) all of which was a lie!

Who Am I?

In the process of living that way, I was losing a little bit of enthusiasm and joy. It slipped away in little amounts everyday without my noticing.

I thought all along I was doing the right thing but by choosing one thing I was losing on another that was equally as important. This went on for years until I ended up becoming this jaded individual who had lost all morale for life.

So Victoria, where did your gusto go? How can you get it back? I figured God pointed out to me that I had been putting myself at the tail end of things and it was costing me very dearly.

He was in effect saying, I need to give myself a little bit more credit, to be true to who I was, not to be afraid of pursuing my dreams and asking for in prayer the desires of my heart.

God was saying to me,” I am not a jaded God, I am full of life, light and joy and by virtue of having me in your life, you should be teeming with joy. I didn't teach you to give up what truly excites you provided its in line with my word. What you’re doing to yourself is entirely on you!”

I couldn’t handle this sobering truth but it was true! I needed to start seeking and speaking my own truth. I needed to come out and say what was on my heart for in so doing I was expressing a part of myself that others would never have gotten to know nor benefited from.

Well On My Way

I'm not there yet but I now firmly believe in seeking out the things that we are. I believe that we're more than what society and life experiences try to make us, we're what God says we are and that's what we should seek to be and to do.

People’s expectations are burdensome but God’s ways are delightful.

So, will you join me in seeking and speaking your own truth? You only got one life to live and you have the chance of being the first best version of yourself rather than being the second best version of someone else.

I implore you who has been so afraid of stepping out to come out and live the life that truly brings out the best and that fully expresses your individuality. Don’t be afraid, you owe that to yourself.